THE HEART OF THE FAMILY TREE

My mother told me, once that trees grow from the inside. We were in the park in Dartmouth Square. There was a rug on the grass, sandwiches, a flash of tea. I was enormously happy. She laid her hand on the smocking of my American cotton dress - I must have been about seven - and she said, "If you think about it, the youngest part of a tree is in the very middle. It is the little dot that will widen into a ring, next year. The youngest part of any tree is the heart."

The Actress, Anne Enright

Two days ago my family started virtual learning for the school year. The first day was cacophony in the virtual grade three classroom; 30 children muting and unmuting their microphones with wild abandon, my child full of excited beans, me on the phone to my communications expert husband telling me I must be doing something wrong if the laptop mic wasn't working. Nothing wrong with me, lad, I thought. That poor teacher though. Bless her, send all the patience her way. 

Yesterday was beautiful juxtaposition. My grade eight child worked quietly in her room, excited to meet new school friends and enjoying the classroom environment created by her teacher. My grade three student was patient and worked on a short story during classroom wait times instead of swanning off to mama. 

I baked bread, muffins and brownies while waiting in the wings to see if my children would need help.  I was feeling excited about the prospect of getting my own work done with the children (finally) back in school. I've been home with them since March. All mom, all the time. It's been a struggle for my introverted self and my work. Yet, I spent every morning cuddling with my children, days swimming and exploring. No shortage of love. They are calmer and happier than they were before their schedules went from full to null. I am calmer and happier too.

Standing in the kitchen worrying a little bit about my bread rising properly (why did I choose a new recipe), and how we are actually going to keep paying the bills going on like this (are we doing the right thing), I overhear my youngest child explaining her All About Me page to her classroom, "My mom and I believe that trees have feelings, so every time we see a sad tree we hug it. It makes me so happy.  My mom is amazing" 

The youngest part of any tree is the heart.